Wooo Hooo, it's friday!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Cock shield
This random box got mis-shipped to us today and I nearly shit my pants when we opened it up. It's a Wee Block thing. What? You don't know what a Wee Blocker is? Apparently there's a major need for Chinese made piss shield for changing baby's diapers. You know, like when a little dude is laying there gettin a wipedown on his junk/taint/butthole and he rains down a power trip of urine on some unsuspecting baby sitter. Like my man R Kelly. Those sick little fvcks. I like their style. Who thinks up this Captain Blast Off shit anyway? Fat, sinister, housewives from Conneticut with too much free time and pissy shirts. That's who.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Jamie O'Brien 2012
Via Phoresia, I found this link to Jamie O'Brien. Jamie apparently has a Twitter page that some other dude writes for him. I don't Twitter cuz I'm boring as fuck and it would be like watching paint dry. But to have somebody else do it for you seems fucking stupid. Why bother? Until I read Jamie O's reply. I think I have a man crush on his response...if he actually wrote the response. The hate is STRONG in this one....
"The fucking surf industry has strangled the surf media so tight for so long that the brains of all surf writers have turned to mush. The media and most of the surfers believe their own con. That surfers must be nice, polite, petite friends to political correctness and each other. Even if they are not, they must pretend. I am not this and I don’t care to be or pretend to be. I have enough friends, I have my own interests and I don’t need them told by drones.
If you want to write shitful rubbish in your magazines, speak trash in an interview, on your blogs, in the comments, on twitter, Then YOU are the problem in your world, not me. And you are already fucked. Go on little man, hate on me. You don’t even know me.
I am not a musician, not a politician, not a painter, not a photographer and not a writer. I am just a surfer. That is enough for me. Charlie Smith is a surfer and writer and his Ruffo Ice Buddha piece changed my perception of surf media. That’s why I asked him to write my personality.
Charlie writes me on twitter to entertain you. To demonstrate to you that freedom of expression is real. That I can do whatever I like and so can you. I hope to encourage you to be all you can be. If you don’t understand the premise, the humor, are too sensitive for the critiques, too politicized and chained to the surf industry, take heart, because I don’t care.
Personality is only what you perceive it to be. Like a good wax job.
Criss crossed layers until it beads. You don’t know the layers so
don’t judge the beads, build your own fucken wax job instead of trying throw sand on mine. I surf, not fucken contests or slop, but the waves I want when I want how I want. Charlie writes whatever the fuck he wants and I laugh.
Fuck the magazines, fuck the fake interviews, fuck the false humility, fuck the deception and cover-ups. Write something else you little minded clones. Surfing is best left to me, writing to Charlie. Admire us and our freedoms until it inspires you enough to seek your own."
"The fucking surf industry has strangled the surf media so tight for so long that the brains of all surf writers have turned to mush. The media and most of the surfers believe their own con. That surfers must be nice, polite, petite friends to political correctness and each other. Even if they are not, they must pretend. I am not this and I don’t care to be or pretend to be. I have enough friends, I have my own interests and I don’t need them told by drones.
If you want to write shitful rubbish in your magazines, speak trash in an interview, on your blogs, in the comments, on twitter, Then YOU are the problem in your world, not me. And you are already fucked. Go on little man, hate on me. You don’t even know me.
I am not a musician, not a politician, not a painter, not a photographer and not a writer. I am just a surfer. That is enough for me. Charlie Smith is a surfer and writer and his Ruffo Ice Buddha piece changed my perception of surf media. That’s why I asked him to write my personality.
Charlie writes me on twitter to entertain you. To demonstrate to you that freedom of expression is real. That I can do whatever I like and so can you. I hope to encourage you to be all you can be. If you don’t understand the premise, the humor, are too sensitive for the critiques, too politicized and chained to the surf industry, take heart, because I don’t care.
Personality is only what you perceive it to be. Like a good wax job.
Criss crossed layers until it beads. You don’t know the layers so
don’t judge the beads, build your own fucken wax job instead of trying throw sand on mine. I surf, not fucken contests or slop, but the waves I want when I want how I want. Charlie writes whatever the fuck he wants and I laugh.
Fuck the magazines, fuck the fake interviews, fuck the false humility, fuck the deception and cover-ups. Write something else you little minded clones. Surfing is best left to me, writing to Charlie. Admire us and our freedoms until it inspires you enough to seek your own."
Monday, July 27, 2009
Muy tanquilo y contenido
Monday's Hate Level Very Low.
Must find something to hate on today.
Hope to report back later.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
chicken weiners for sale
Lots of good waves, I got to yell at an old dude, 85 degrees, and $1 hot dogs. Right on, right on, right on! I'm feelin it. So I bought some lottery tickets.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
miracle on July 24th
Last night while surfing mellow, windy, waist/chest high waves, I clobbered the top of my foot. Not sure how, but that's not important. It was no problemo in the water. Just a little achy. Once I got out though, the pain level rose and made me take notice. Not unmanagable, cuz I don't feel pain like the common folk. But my foot was all jacked up and not working right. I kind of thought something broke down cuz I couldn't move it. It was swollen and starting to bruise so I went to sleep to keep my mind off it. Then I woke up this morning and NOTHING. Not a damm thing. Absolutley no problemo. It's offically a miracle. Or I'm a godamm perfect physical specimen with an incredible rate of recovery.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Ventoux yourself
Oh man I'm so stoked for saturday, I can barely contain myself. Hopefully I'm not jinxin it, but it looks like some epic waves are coming our way. I'm not sure where I'm gonna go, but I'm gonna shred all day. Me and every other wave-starved ass-clown will be there. Come join us. It's gonna be hot as balls. So I'm gonna bronze the fat, too.
Then I'll retire to the Lazy Boy for the Tour de France climb up Mt Ventoux. It's been a great Tour so far. I can't believe Contador put 1:30 on Old Man Lance during today's time trial. I figured the last few days Lance was pulling a Art of War tactic..."act weak when you're strong and strong when you're weak". But losing 1:30 in a time trial, one of his strengths, is nobody's strategy, no matter how devious. I also figured that once he'd been the "good teammate" and made sure that only Contador or Himself would win the race, it would be a duel to the end. Mano y mano. LeMond/Hinault style. I was thinking Lance and his super human, undetectable drugs would kick in on today's all important time trial and the upcoming Mt Ventoux. After today, my weakly hatched plan is crap. I couldn't bike race my way out of a wet napkin. Nobody's gonna gain nearly 6 minutes on a climbing master like Contador. But Ventoux should be fun regardless. Lots of dudes wanna win that stage for a lifetime of braggin rights and glory. I can't wait.
Then I'll retire to the Lazy Boy for the Tour de France climb up Mt Ventoux. It's been a great Tour so far. I can't believe Contador put 1:30 on Old Man Lance during today's time trial. I figured the last few days Lance was pulling a Art of War tactic..."act weak when you're strong and strong when you're weak". But losing 1:30 in a time trial, one of his strengths, is nobody's strategy, no matter how devious. I also figured that once he'd been the "good teammate" and made sure that only Contador or Himself would win the race, it would be a duel to the end. Mano y mano. LeMond/Hinault style. I was thinking Lance and his super human, undetectable drugs would kick in on today's all important time trial and the upcoming Mt Ventoux. After today, my weakly hatched plan is crap. I couldn't bike race my way out of a wet napkin. Nobody's gonna gain nearly 6 minutes on a climbing master like Contador. But Ventoux should be fun regardless. Lots of dudes wanna win that stage for a lifetime of braggin rights and glory. I can't wait.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Great Camping
Pretty good bean bomb here. Whoever these people are, I like their style. Dude almost got beans shot up his nose like Lindsay Lohan and hograils. Nice firetending, though. I think I can hear some PBR drinking and smokes gettin chuffed.
Fvck ups
Nosetradamus of the Tackledbox got me thinking about fucked up athletes that rip. I'm still jonzin for the Bunker Spreckels movie.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
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