Wednesday, July 8, 2009

666

A couple weeks back I decided to help out this fucked up US economy by buying Japanese. I scooped up a silver 2009 Subaru Outback Limited. Otherwise known as the Lez-Mobile. I was due for a new car anyway. They're practically giving the things away. I went middle of the road, because that's what I do. Never the best shit unless it's sports equipment or hookers. It's got leather interior, tints, sunroof, and colon heaters. The miles just rolled over 666, and I've gotten my first impression. I have to say, this rig is pretty good. I wasn't overly excited about any cars out the right now. All the cars I can afford look like a retard banged a downs syndrome and they crapped out whatever they could get out. No thought process or thinking, it just happened. The new Outbacks actually look decent. By no means sporty, but it doesn't look like the fucking Pontiac Aztek. DIE A MISERABLE LINGERING DEATH ALL YOU A-HOLES AT PONTIAC! It's got okay 0-60, but I don't care. I don't need to be anywhere right now. It's all wheel drive. And it gets decent milage. The only other thing out there that I was looking at was the VW Jetta Sportwagen Turbo Diesel which gets 45mpg. But I'm not in a college sorority and I'm straight. So there you have it. I hope I never start calling it a Subi.

Mile 666



The newest Brown Recluse is a silver. And not a van.
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3 comments:

  1. SurfsisterJuly 8, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    I'm not a lesbian and I drive one too. In fact, I didn't know it was considered a lesbian car until long after I bought it. Whatever. Mine is six years old. Since it's not a "nice" car, I have no problem throwing a surfboard, my kid and the dog inside. The thing only cost me $20,000 new. It's boring as hell to drive, but is a perfect surf mobile and mommy car for me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MorganJuly 8, 2009 at 9:33 PM

    your car was made for yogurtland runs with PCP(rogress) and the Bogustard

    ReplyDelete
  3. TontoJuly 9, 2009 at 11:54 PM

    Never the best shit unless it's sports equipment or hookers- classic line. And what makes you think your straight? This car fits your gay ass better than your current butt plug.

    ReplyDelete

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