This is the big morning I've been waiting for. Time to battle the ticket I got while riding my bicycle. Let me repeat....BICYCLE. I'm sticking it to the man right now at the Superior Court Of California, County of Santa Barbara. Check in time is 8:30. It's the classic struggle of Good(myself) against evil(that cocksucker, officer C W Kamin). Mano y mano.
**UPDATE 11:07am**
I am officially a gigantic pussy on the stand. The fuzz had it mostly right, I agreed somewhat, explained that I didn't want to die wearing spandex and Italian shoes, and was found VERY guilty. I lose. But I also get a $250 bail reduction, got away from the desk for a morning, and I wasted some fuckhead cop's time. A little ying in my yang.
Being on the witness stand is scary shit. I once had to do it as an extern while working for the City Attorney. The lawyer who was questioning me tried to trip me up with this long, convoluted question that he was certain would freak me out. It did not and I walked away with a big smirk. Then again, El Hefe, I've been to law school so I know how to play that game. Normal people do not. You're not a pussy.
ReplyDeleteTHERE ARE A GRAND TOTAL OF ZERO WINNERS IN THIS CASE. FUCK YOU ALL.
ReplyDeleteSurfsister, I appreciate you trying to make El Hefe feel better. However, I have know him for several years(World's Best Roomie) and he is in fact a Pussy.
ReplyDeletefuck the man !
ReplyDelete