Fuck soccer. That flopping around shits so lame. And I'm an American. A real sport to me is something more like the subtle art of bike racing. The month-long bicycling Super Bowl (AKA The Tour de France) is fast approaching. I'm checking the route this morning and notice something super rad....they climb the gnarly Toumalet two times from both sides. Like a Col de Tourmalet double penetration. Both of these massive days of climbing will be wedged around a rest day (AKA The Taint) so there should be some epic dueling. And it's happening on stages 17 and 18, right before the final time trial. That means the contenders will have to throw everything at the climbs to still be in the hunt during the time trial. No sandbaggin. Every rider is REALLY gonna need their performance enhancing drugs big time. Especially Old Man Armstrong. Oh geez. The final week is gonna be so sick, I'm about to get my O-Face just thinking about all this.
First time in 7 years I wont have cable to watch the TDF. Kinda freaking right now, just cant justify the bill anymore, anyone know where I can watch it live on the intrawebs???
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ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the bad news Forrest. Right now is no time to give up on TV. Don't let the terrorists win. TV loves you and will be there with open arms whenever you return. I've been without TV for 7 god-aweful months. But my new condo has it. Praise jesus. The webs will have it somewhere, but it just ain't the same.
ReplyDeleteHEY CLEANFACE:
ReplyDeleteWhat's subtle about bike racing? It's pretty much burlyman in your face shit to me..."I am stronger than you." Tactics-wise, I think it's pretty overrated. I have it up there with curling: you get your dude to the finish line first. I think it's a disservice to try and sell it as some "thinking man's sport," as the physical stuff is enough to blow everything else out of the water...that the tactics are somehow more complicated or nuanced than other types of racing always seems weird to me...whatever. There's strategery. Is good. I think they should lose all radios, so we could have all-day breakaways like I've never really seen...stories of dudes leaving in the morning and nobody ever sees them again: that'd be tite.
Are you claiming the whole working with other teams stuff as more american than the straight up team sport of soccer?
Confused.
I'm not one to go on another man's blogg and tell him whattup, but you're totally fucked.
I'm sure there'll be a stream on the e-Nets, there's gotta be...
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ReplyDeleteIt's alright, I am usual totally fucked. Couldn't agree with you more...cycling is basic, cromagnum strategy. Stronger man wins. Pedal hard, conserve energy when possible, attack when possible. Sure, there's tactics just like everything. I never claimed to compare cycling against any other form of racing, nor do I give a rats ass. To each his own. I DID claim that watching soccer can suck my balls. In case you didn't notice, cycling is defintely NOT an American sport, that shoulda been your first clue. I know it's stupid, gayish, and bitchy, but I love it and can deal with America hating MY sport. No red blooded American gives two shits about it. Just like soccer, except every 4 years.
ReplyDeleteSMOOTH AS A BABY'S BEHIND OUT
if they get tapped by the pinky toe of someone they flop all over the place as if they've been hit by a mack truck. ol man Lance has a trek in front of him. i heard back in his day he had to walk fifteen miles to school in the snow, up hill both ways. personally i don't mind saying i'm looking forward to this years tour de france.
ReplyDeletea common complaint, and valid...however: watch how hard it is to knock over a big striker (or little dude, for that matter) when they think they have a chance to score...it's just like any other sport: they're looking for any advantage they can get. FIFA's been getting better in giving yellow cards for flopping. That's all it'd take. Enforcement.
ReplyDeleteI saw Sheed go flying after being brushed by a little Laker during the Finals...that dude's a beast. These battles are won at the margins. Just like keeping your red blood cell count right up there at the threshold in cycling.
Lance Armstrong hangs with McCaughneghgheghy shirtless, left his family for a rock star cougar, and then dated an Olson twin. He's great.
usa soccer, and all world cup soccer in general, killed it today. it was "the look" back at ulrich meets the condor descending meets cipollini snorting coke off a trophy girl's ass. KILLINIT
ReplyDeleteAllrighty then. I have to give credit to last second HERoics. Heard about, didn't watch it, barely care.
ReplyDeleteAgain...I'll stick with a sport where if anyone flops on the ground it's because a Dominican tried to put a 96 mph "can o gas" through someones ear-hole from 60'6". And then expects someone from the other team to attempt the same.
ReplyDeleteAbner Doubleday
...except both pitchers and benches get "official warnings" now, all but eliminating that part of biesbol...
ReplyDeletekids don't want to play baseball, it's dying...but stick with it if you like. It's a nice way to kill an afternoon txting or whatever...