Sunday, February 27, 2011

tell em you love em

Every day of my life begins with unlimited potential. My basic rule is don't plan ahead unless you absolutely must. I have a simple outline, but I don't really know what's gonna happen when I wake up in the morning. From the second I crack open my eyes, it's a feeding frenzy to cram as much fun into roughly the 16 hours I'm awake. Will I get tubed or a face full of powder? Am I gonna get my clock cleaned in sparring class or will I deliver the punishment? Who will I meet? Should I have a few drinks? What new and amazing experience will I have? And it all goes down in real time with heavy doses of ADD. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I need it that way. It helps me get to sleep each night knowing that I lived life to the fullest I possibly could. But then something completely unexpected happens and I'm forced to question everything I've lived for. My only other basic rule is tell the people you love that you love them all the time. You never know what's gonna happen. On friday, February 25th, my step-brother Matt never woke up. In the 90's, when my dad remarried in Portland, I was living in Idaho. I hung out with my step mom, Francis, often and only spent a few holidays with my step brothers. I knew them somewhat, but not great. We were all adults by the time we became family and had our own lives. I always kept up to date through my dad and Francis. But I can't think of ever having their phone numbers or even calling them once. I can't think of the last time I even saw Matt in person...and I'm sure I didn't tell him that I loved him. Now I can't. So it's time to evolve again and become more of who I want to be. And live life without regrets.


  1. Sorry to hear this.

    Good basic rules. I only recently figured a couple of those out.

    Speaking of which: have you ever told me you love me? Did I miss that?

  2. You're a good man Mr. Recluse. Condolences and no regrets... love ya man /B