Friday, February 27, 2009

Murder in Costa Mesa

At around 2:45 am this morning, a Disheveled Recluse finally found this little bitch cricket under the bed skirt at the rancid meth hotel he was staying at in swanky Costa Mesa. He was sentenced to death. BR immediately slept well.

Some dude hyping the surf from 1-20-09 on the shitter wall at Swami's...the Donkey Breeding Ground.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Idaho Street

I just moved into an new home this month and I've been going through boxes of crap that I've had stored for a while. Lots of garbage mixed in with certain treasures. Who the hell saves old innertubes and 276 towels? I came across some old pics, like the one below from June 1988. I know it's from June 88 becuase my mommy wrote that date on the back. With all the new digital pics, moms can't do that helpful shit anymore. I'm graduating from high school, probably Cheeched out of my gourde, proudly standing in front of my 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix. I'm trying to sell the White Dragon. In the background is Joe Poppler's home. He's the brother of women's surfing's Jericho Poppler. Neat. Along side me is my sister who's equally proud of me and my vehicle choices. I used it as my ski car to get up to Mount Hood Meadows one winter. I could stick snowboards in sideways and get up there really fast. That thing had a 400 cubic inch power plant so I made sure to burn rubber everywhere I went. I went through tires muy rapido and I got about 8 miles to the gallon. God bless America.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Rad fucken day

When I woke up this morning still a little foggy from last night's wine, I had no idea the day would be so rad. Things just fell into place all day long and it was fun as shit. I didn't wanna dick around with the a-holes at Rincon, so I started with a surf at Mira Mar. Got there around mid tide and spent 3 hours getting stoney mellow longboard rides, mostly in the gut high range with a few bigger sets. Not a drop of wind, so it was ultra glassy. The bottom started to drop out on the inside, so it got speedy. Lots of rocks showing and taking some risks making some sections were required. Squat low and hang on. It was all good. Not many peeps, so I got my fill and then spent a couple hours taking a nap and running errands. I could've called it a day and been satisfied right then and there. But nope, not today. I pulled my lazy ass off the couch, grabbed the single fin, and went for an afternoon sesh at Rincon. When I got to the parking lot is was curiously empty. I changed and raced down the trail to see a bunch of people just hangin out on the beach watching the scene. Not many surfers in the water. I jumped in just below the rivermouth and paddled out into an oncoming set that was about shoulder high. Dan Malloy was tucked into a sick ass barrel right in front of me.....riding an alaia. WHAAAAAAATTT? Now, I don't get star struck by people, especially if they're dudes. But I really dig his style and his life in general. He and his brothers "get" life and what it's all about. For the next couple hours, we're trading off waves and shooting the shit. Every once in a while I look down the wave as I'm paddling back out and see him tucked under the lip or locked into something good. He's absolutely killin it on a finless chunk of plywood. Then I move down the point and find a nice peak with nobody around. I manage to locate 2009's barrel #'s 3,4,5, and 6. I sat in a honey hole all by myself was pickin off the waves. One wave in particular, I got a double barrel and was setting up for another awesome section when I look ahead and see Kelly Slater pulling of my wave. I remember thinking to myself "hey, there's the World Champ, what's he doing". I immediately spazz, flail, and fall over, wasting possibly the best wave of my winter. I think I got star struck, even though we've met a couple times....and he's a dude. The guy nails every supermodel and is the soon to be 10-time world champ for christ sake. I said hi and went back to my little spot laughing the whole way. I was surfing good and had some really great waves. Lots of shoulder to head high waves and glassy all day. Good vibes in the water to top it all off. Damm right it was a good day.

I love this pic of Dan Malloy taken by Kyle Lightner last month...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Carolla shitcanned

They pulled Adam Carolla off the air? Today is the last day? Un fuckenbelievable. He makes my mornings good and right, and his rage is beautiful. It's been said that he looks like Pete Sampras with Downs Syndrome. That fucking does it. The world is officially cooked and done. Fuck you George Bush. Maybe those Mayans are right about the end of the world in 2012. As of today, February 20, 2009, at 8:21 am, I'm preppin for Armegedon. I'm building a bomb shelter for the porn and surfboards cuz when we're out of power, Youporn won't be funtioning unless Cyberdyne Systems can keep it up and running. That's a risk I don't wanna take. No way, pal.

Downs Syndrome

No Downs Syndrome

Future Ms Recluse

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Point Concept

Ryan Lovelace will dominate the world someday, as long as he's able to stay away from the hookers and blow. Those things will kill you, man. The best you can hope for is a deviated septum and syphillis. Dude is only 22 and absolutely killin it in the shaping room these days. He's more of a hull/fish/longboard know, boards that are creative and fun, not those stupid thrusters. People are starting to pay attention and he's set to blow up any day now. It seems like every surf blogger who matters is writing about some incredible experience riding his boards. Ryan's got tons of soul, and I don't use that word lightly. One board at a time, he's bringing the fun back to surfing. Fun is what we need right now with all the bullshit going on in the world. Point Concept Surfboards just moved into a bigger shaping bay, so we'll be seeing SB's lineups clogged with more and more stylin rippers. A super cool write-up just appeared magically online...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


3 am dance off

Tonto's 40th Birthday from Brown Recluse on Vimeo.

Seattle really kicks ass. It has rad mountains nearby like Crystal, Steven's, and Baker. A short 4.5 hours away is Whistler/Blackcomb to get all the big mountain shred you need. Westport, the meth capital of WA is 2 hours away to get some surf. The Olympic Penninsula with all it's empty beaches and killer camping is a little longer with an awesome ferry ride in between. Seattle has Ivar's Chowder, Yasuko's Terriyaki, and far too much good coffee. And there's tons of hot chicks everywhere. Last week, I cruised up there for a long weekend to celebrate my buddy Tonto's 40 years on god's green earth. I hadn't been back since I moved away in 2003. Basically I drank for 3 days. It was a few drinks at lunchtime followed by a couple hours of downtime followed later by much more drinking. I mixed in a little snowshred, eating, smoking, and coffee. United Airlines was awesome and flew me to Denver to get home. Came home with a sluggish liver and a slight cold.

Wings with Yo and PK

See thru snowboards are the new black

Polish Gas Chamber

This is what 40 looks like

Looks like he got everything he wanted

3 am

Monday, February 16, 2009

PSIA level 3

Steven's Pass Washington got an incredible treat over the weekend. I was up there producing some high quality snowboarding turns with a bunch of 40 year olds. A little slash to the left, finish the turn with a snap, throw buckets, pop it over to the right, get low, let the board flex, snap it it up, spray some snow like your pulling in the greenroom, wiggle, and repeat. Ah yah, man. Feels good. Johan Malkoski of C-3 World Corporation took notice. Johan knows quality when he sees it. Here he is hanging out with the Castaldi sisters...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Salma Hayek 2010

Salma Hayek knows how to get my vote for Humanitarian of the Week. She shoved her spectacular gigantic mommy boob in some lucky starving kid's face and force fed him. A real Mother Theresa there. I too am a "sick little boy", so I'm starting to fast immediately.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I was checkin out my usual blogs and websites today trying to find something keep my mind off surfing or porn for a couple minutes. I ran across a post about Burnside, which got me to thinking about my days growing up in Porkland during the 80's. I made party alot, so I don't really remember much of the late 80's-late 90's. During the haze, there was a group of my friends that I kinda lost track of for a few years during the early 90's. Some got in trouble with serious drugs and lost teeth, and some went of to jail for all kinds of shit. Some, like Kent Dahlgren cleaned their shit up and just wanted to skate. By 92 I was more into snowboarding and moved to shred Idaho's gnar. Kent and his ragtag team of masons, bricklayers, and concrete workers were busy building a skatepark by hand...under a Portland's cold and shitty rain. They were just a bunch scrappy resourceful skater kids that wanted a place to skate. They didn't need no fucking city approval, stupid video games, EXPN, or even money. They didn't whine, the went about getting it done. They created a legend and in the process, got the ball rolling. It was a wake up call for cities to do the right thing. It was cool that they have some old point and shoot pics of the good ol days between '90-'93.



Kent about to get beatdown while delivering a beatdown

Monday, February 9, 2009

Sex Wax springs a leak

Never a dull moment around Sex Wax. Midgets, strippers, and clowns all day every day. It's a regular Circe De Fucking Soliel around here. Sometimes we have to move the Lambos and Bentley's out of the company car area just to put up the trapeeze platform and trampoline. Wfeeeew! At about 4:30 today we were mopping up the stripper pole and winding down another day. So JJ decides to run the forklift into the fire sprinkler. Youch! Mucho aqua started flooding the warehouse and all living things inside. The mini horses started mini-bucking. Elephants were blowing their horns running through the parking lot squishing our neighbors with their mighty hooves. The workers were swimming for their lives. Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!! It was like the Titanic in there. I barely made it out alive to tell the tale.

I stopped amid the chaos and I forgot I was shooting video...

Erick product testing a Sex Wax brand towel...

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Caught in a froth

I went surfing all day. We've had a good run of surf for a few days, but today was super fun. Lots of shoulder and overhead waves. The weather was a battle until about noon. Some rain and squalls caused a little bounce on the face. Then it got a lot cleaner but smaller for the afternoon and evening. Got out after dark and was freezing. It was fun. Here's what a north Ventura County surf break looked like.

Friday, February 6, 2009

SF technology

If I had only one wish it would involve Tijuana, a donkey, and a tequila blackout. But if I got another wish it would be to make Apple mate with a Vanagon to create a beautiful lovechild. Then I'd inject it with tons of leftover Barry Bonds steroids to give it power, fuel economy, 4wd, and incredible engineering. And lazers. San Fran is full of brainy people doing rad shit.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Run for your life, zombies ahead

Apparently, in Illinois stupid zombies took over the minute Obama moved the Washington. Seems like the floodgates have opened. So road crews have errected road signs warning passing motorists about trouble ahead. "Zombies ahead, run for your lives" and "Caution: Zombies Ahead" are everywhere. I've nailed a couple fat zombie chicks over the years. It was special and beautiful. But that's not the point here. These smelly brain feeders are dangerous, so take all precautions. And if you can, shoot em between the eyes. That's still the best way to kill these a-holes. Here's some of last weeks footage...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


This week's been a goldmine from my favorite boggers. It couldn't have come at a better time. Things are slow around the office and there hasn't been shit for waves. So I've been spacin out a lot. Fist thing that caught my attention was a post poking some fun at tight pants on Turns out the pic was some pro shreds from The OC that has neat haircuts and take fashion way too seriously. Lots of snickering lead to hurt feelings and dudes running to the sweet salvation that only Morrissey can bring. Hold me. Then my new favorite photog, Kyle L posted his take on the 2009 Tite Pant Situation on More comedy and more love/hate. I could be wrong, but I believe this is exactly what the internet was created for. To kill time at work so you can call dudes homos anonymously. God bless Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Al Gore.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Best Salesman Ever

Listen and learn from the best, Jack Rebney....

"I don't want anymore BULLSHIT anytime during the day from anyone, that includes me."

"get the fuck outta here you flys"

15 foot dolphins

I need another crappy vehicle like I need a pair of tite pants, a fixed gear bike, and an SUP. But I'm close to pulling the trigger on a 15 foot 1979 Toyota Dolphin. It's got the right amount of creepy, rust, and cool. It would be rad to convert this thing to 4wd, load up on guns and surf wax, then live like Mad Max when the New Great Depression starts. In the meantime, my neighbors will love it.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Open the lungs

Opening the lungs in the Tour de France

14 Olympic Gold Medal winner

Who fucking cares what Michael Phelps does? He smokes weed and he swims faster than everybody. He even beat those Australians who honor swimming like we treat the Super Bowl. Take that you commie monkeys! Back in the day, I swam in high school....and smoked a shitton of weed. Bradbury and I would Cheech it up in the pool parking lot every single day. We'd hotbox my 72 Datsun 510 baby blue station wagon then crank out some major laps. Not sure it hurt or helped, but it made the monotany tollerable. At the big city meet my junior year we snuck out and torched it up. It was held at the MAC Club in Porkland, OR. Somehow I got lost in that massive building and came across a food court on one of the upper levels. They whipped me up the World Greatest Coffee Milkshake. I found my way back downstairs to the ground floor pool just in time for the butterfly finals. Coach was freakin and askin questions. Chill out man. Let's do this. I think I got 4th in city. Just out of place to go to state. Not great, but not bad for a dude that was racing butterfly for the first time, was stoned to bajesus, and full of coffee milkshake.