so you're saying there's a chance?

The Brown Recluse may live and reside in the 'guest house' of a posh, 200-acre (0.81 km2) beachfront estate, known as Robin's Nest, in A Secret Location in Santa Barbara County, at the invitation of its owner, Name Withheld, the celebrated-but-never-seen author of several dozen lurid novels. Ostensibly this is quid pro quo for Recluse's services based upon Recluse's claimed expertise in security; the pilot suggests Recluse also did Masters a favor of some kind.

In addition, Robin’s Nest is guarded by two highly-trained Doberman Pinschers, Zeus and Apollo, and all other aspects of the estate are managed by Englishman Jonathan Quayle Higgins III, an ex-British Army Sergeant Major with whom, often as a humorous aside during various episodes of the series, Recluse must barter for use of estate amenities other than the guest house and the Ferrari 308 GTS (e.g., tennis courts, wine cellar, expensive cameras, etc.). During early seasons of The Brown Recluse the voice of Robin Masters, heard only a few times per season, was voiced by Orson Welles.

The Brown Recluse seemingly lives a dream lifestyle: he comes and goes as he pleases, works only when he wants to, has the almost unlimited use of a Ferrari 308 GTS as well as many other of Robin Masters’ luxuries. He keeps a mini-fridge with a seemingly endless supply of fictional Coops beer, wears his father's treasured Rolex GMT Master wristwatch,[2] is seemingly surrounded by countless beautiful women (who are often his clients or victims in the cases he solves) and enjoys adventures with his buddies Rick and T.C., both former Marines he served with in the Vietnam War.[3]




Big Wednesday a couple years ago...

More Morgan

There's gonna be an onslaught of Morgan Massen during the winter of 2009-10. It's gonna be rad, too. Dude's been putting out some incredible surf and travel pics & vids for a while now. They never look cliche and always kick ass. This year it looks like he's steppin it up with some tropical travels planned all fucking winter long.

Here's a mellow little test vid from rincon a few weeks back. I'm really diggin the cranking turn at 1:31. How bout the epic leash yank at 4:07???


Stoney....

Round 2

The past weekend brought a bunch of waves around these parts. I even logged a tiny amount of tube time. I had no other choice. I was locked into a nice shoulder high pocket and the thing collapsed right in front of me. All I had to do was my patented maneuver...squat down, grab rail, and stall it a little. Any retard coulda ducked inside and squeezed on through. I'm just stoked that I was that retard since I'm not really known for my barrel riding skills. That was my friday night sesh after a long 2 days dropping off shit at surf shops from Seal Beach to San Diego. Good times. The rest of the weekend brought me alot of fun waves and a brand new case of THE MRSA. Fuckin A right, I'm gross, infected, and oozing from my leg...again. I just can't seem to catch a fucking break in 2009. But there's hope for 2010. Big news possible in mid-december.

Remember this song? It's ridiculous. It's a little known fact that it was originally titled "The MRSA Strikes Again"...

Cold Fickle & Sharkey

It turns out there will NOT be any storm hitting the Washington or Oregon Coast starting tomorrow and lasting into early next week. Sorry everybody. The swell that I was so wrecklessly and fraudulently overhyping just yesterday has drastically changed course and it's completely gone. Not a wisp of a wave anywhere. Please change your travel plans. Just stay the fuck home and watch tv or something. It will be bathtub flat along every single nook and gorgeous cranny of the Pacific Northwest. No waves unless you're all Stand Up Paddleboard Super Waterman Guy/Girl. I repeat, DO NOT GO TO WASHINGTON AND OREGON FOR SURFING. I've personally witnessed 17 death by sharks and 42 freezings to death from the very cold water. Another 8 surfers died just from boredom during the long flat spells. On top of everything, there's been a tsunami, earthquake, landslide, fire, and massive outbreak of the anal swine flu and the entire state has been not been heard from in 48 hours. All are feared lost. So in conclusion...there's no storm, absolutely no surf of any kind, and it's a fucking bloodbath up there.

Straits

To everybody in the NW...Are you ready to ruuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbllle????? Check your surf report, you sweater wearin mud hippies. Then tell me this weekend doesn't look fucken epic. Fake your death, quit your job, burn down your office, cheat, lie, or do whatever it takes to get to the Straits for this upcoming storm. This thing looks so rad. If it comes in like they predict, EVERY-FUCKIN-THING will be working. My personal fav would be Twins, but there's many more to choose from. It's a great time live in mossy old Warshington and have a watertight van to spend a long stormy weekend surfing, slothing, farting, and building campfires. If you go through Neah Bay, buy a pile of smoked salmon from an Indian guy on a side street somewhere around Washington Street and 1st Ave. Dude knows how to roast endangered fish over flames. Yum Yum Yum!

Grape as fuck

I've been eating a lot of grapes recently and none of this happened. I must've selected the wrong grapes.

Bleach

Nirvana released the album Bleach in the summer of 1989. Fucken Eh, has it been that long already? Those were good times, mang. No responsibilities, swimming in booze, very little working. To celebrate the 20 anniversary, Sub-Pop is re-releasing Bleach along with a bonus CD from their 1990 gig at the Pine Street Theater in Porkland. I might have been at that show. Somewhere around then, I went to see Mudhoney play and they were the opening act. We'd heard the name around town, but nobody had seen them yet. Obviously, they fucking blew the doors off. I had no idea they'd get bigger than the Pacific Northwest though. I always thought that show was at the Satyricon. My mental picture says Satyricon, but maybe it was the Pine Street. Over the years, the memory has gotten very fuzzy.


Not a song from the album, but great footy from 1990....

Isla Fucking Vista

UCSB destroys their liver every Halloween. Only 25,000 drunks showed up this year, so the number was way down from their expected 50,000. Officers were still able to arrest 311 revelers and issue 720 citations, an increase from last year when police made 234 arrests and doled out 551 citations. So an "Atta Boy" goes out to the Fuzz. Maybe the attendence was way lower because in this down economy, they couldn't afford the slutty nurse, slutty football player, slutty princess, or slutty Paris Hilton costumes. I dunno. Man, if I would've known about this when I was 18, I might have signed up for college. Check out this brief vid. There's a boob grab and possible nip slip at 1:40.

Saiga Sunday

Actually, this should be titled Saiga Saturday since I went to shooting range yesterday. I went blasting with the new Russian Hunting Rifle rifle for the first time. While I was there, I also shot some other dude's Commi Pinko Chinese SKS. I have no accuracy but don't really care when it comes to paper. It's boring to target practice with stupid paper. I need shit that blows up. That's the fun part. Next time I got to the free-for-all shooting range up in the hills. That's where I don't have to care about accuracy and I can lay down some suppressive fire and power out some destruction on pumpkins, water bottles, and random shit.

Happy Halloween Bitches

Hope ya'll get wasted and fall down on someone special.

"Vampires are flashy dressers"

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

Peak Season Part 2-BAF Strikes Back

The trailer for Canadian eXtreme Reality MTV show, Peak Season has been all over the webs. And I'm fascinated by it. The idea is solid...get a bunch of drunken, whoring, fighting, snowshreddars and film their lives. So simple yet so incredible. But before they could do that, MTV Canada went on a coke binge and had sex with Laguna Beach, The Hills, Fall Out Boy, Von Dutch and Christian Audiger. What got crapped out is the shittiest look at snowboarding since Neff and Lucas Magoon. The midwest will love this shit.

I ran across this video below on Board As Fuck blog, which is from a bunch of pro-shreds where mostly they take turns calling each other homos. It's great. Looks like their reality crossed paths with the fake reality. I guess you're not supposed to speak when reality is being filmed.

40 in Venice

One of my all time favorite bros is turning 40 years old on Halloween. Which is a perfect day for dude's B-Day cuz he's an animal. I'm old and broken, and rarely get out of the Lazy Boy. Dude's still raging like it's 1999. He lives/parties/fights in Santa Monica these days. One of the last times we hung out, around 3am we punched each other in the face and I'm still fuzzy why. He sent me this invitation text a while back... "yo sucka, u gtta com dwn 4 my 40th this hallows eve...lots of Shrooms, X, and women!". Tempting, but I may be too much of a pussy. I'm no spring chicken.