Happy T-Day Eve bitches

News report from The Onion...
NEW YORK—For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.
The trip back home, scheduled for later this week, will reportedly bring McCabe face-to-face with an endless string of pricks from his past, each of whom he will have to engage in awkward conversation, and generally pretend to be happy about seeing again.
"They're all going to be there," said McCabe, purchasing an Amtrak train ticket for Rochester, NY. "Every last one of them, just as shitty and conceited and phony as ever."
"I can't believe I'm going to see all those assholes again," McCabe continued.
Though he will initially intend to stay at home with his parents, grandparents, and other relatives, McCabe told reporters that after spending approximately five hours in their company, he will grow antsy, borrow his father's car, and drive to nearby Marleybone Pub. There, McCabe expects to bump into at least five insufferable assholes in the first three minutes.
"Guaranteed Ricky Cook will be there," said McCabe, adding that there isn't much else to do in his hometown. "And probably Vanessa Torres, and that dickhead Michael Schmidt. Yeah, Schimdt will definitely be there. Probably be hammered, too."
At Marleybone, McCabe will be required to partake in a number of unpleasant activities, including making small talk with several assholes who used to openly mock him during high school, and reminiscing about the "good old days" of which he was never a part. While the consumption of alcohol will initially make the evening more tolerable, McCabe is ultimately expected to leave the bar after realizing he has just as little in common with all these assholes as he did when he was 15.
"Katie Reynolds will probably come up and give me a big hug like we're the best of friends, even though she never once talked to me during school, and pretty much acted like I was invisible the whole time," McCabe said. "Boy, I can't wait to hug that bitch again."
After leaving Marleybone, the 26-year-old predicts he will patronize Bud Murphy's Tavern, a favorite haunt for locals, where an even greater number of assholes are expected to congregate in even higher densities.
Assholes such as Craig Horble, Kyle Davis, Vinny Iagosa, Brittany Pipitone, Justin Smigowski, Nick Casey, and Nick's asshole brother, Dennis.
According to McCabe, all the assholes in attendance will look the same except for being 10 to 20 pounds heavier, and possibly sporting a new beard or goatee. However, that same old shit-eating grin will still be on all their faces, McCabe reported.
If previous years are any indication, assholes who live in the area will not be the only ones out the night before Thanksgiving. Like McCabe, who since graduation has moved to New York, many Marshall High School alumni are expected to return from their new homes all across the country.
"I bet Bill Harding is going to show up and talk about his big lawyer job in San Francisco," McCabe said. "I can see it now: 'You know, hours are a real bitch. Money's good, though.' I've known that guy since fifth grade. He's always been an asshole."
Early reports indicate that the mingling of assholes will likely trigger a fight between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., with a scuffle expected moments after two giant assholes argue over who rushed for more touchdowns during senior year. McCabe said that he usually tries to avoid any involvement in these fights, but nonetheless anticipates an elbow to his forehead or at the very least a spilled drink on his pants.
"[Wayne] Maldonado just loves to run his mouth, especially when it comes to talking shit about people's girlfriends," McCabe continued. "He used to be kind of scary when we were all in school, but the guy is almost 30 now. I feel kind of bad for him."
Though he remains anxious about the inevitable fracas, McCabe explained that those experiences are usually counterbalanced with more pleasurable events, such as finding out which assholes now have kids.
"I heard Marissa Feely got knocked up this year," he said. "What is that? The third time?"
The 26-year-old is not the only one dreading the upcoming week. Several Marshall High School alumni have expressed similar misgivings about running into former classmates on the night before Thanksgiving.
"I can't believe McCabe is coming back," said local resident Ricky Cook. "That guy's such a fuckin' asshole."

Food fight

A quick little search for "stop motion fight" on youtube and I found this awesome vid. I love the night vision destruction.

Groundhog Day

Lots of water time this weekend. It began early saturday with some really fun, crowded surf at Rincon. Then it was time to move up the road a bit to escape and get in some wrongboarding. Here's a rare pic of my stock run these days. Drop...grab rail/turn board...squat low...hang on till the bitter end. Just trying to tuck into the pocket and slide my hand along the lip as it breaks. Wave after wave, that's all I did. I can't stop it. I might not have made even one bottom turn. But it's so much fucking fun.

Rockford Files

I've wanted to live in an Airstream ever since spending 3 weeks in Mexico with one as home base. It was parked 30 feet from the sand. Me and a couple bros would slash some waves all day then come back to the air-conditioned trailer parked in the hot sun. It always looked like a beautiful, cold Silver Bullet blazing away. We'd hop in the pool next door and throw some food in the piehole. Then we'd start the boozin, burnin, and bean bombs. It was great. I may finally get to live the dream again. I'm in home limbo for the month o' December. My buddy offered the use of his pimp ass Airstream again. I may have to park that bitch down at Faria and live like Jim Rockford. This could get really good.

Backlit barrel

Mid-day mini sesh due to new server installation.
Heavy offshores.
Chest to head high with pockets.
Building steep NW swell.
Long stretch of drivable beach.
Me and 2 buddies with a peak to ourselves.
Then sat and watched these guys getting pitted so pitted at a peak just north.

Jaws

Check out some nature on your cuntputer.

Super Shaper

Ryan Lovelace....Who the fuck is that assclown, you ask? I wouldn't be callin him an assclown if I was you because, for starters, he's next in line to fight heavyweight Fedor Emilianenko, he's 10 feet tall, and shoots lightning bolts out his arse. No, no, no. Not really, I lied. He's a mellow, artsy, guitar pickin surfboard shaper here in Santa Barbara who enjoys drawing dragons and taking short, strenuous walks to Starbucks with his faithful showdog, Herbie. He hails from the great state of Warshington which I hear has absolutely no surf anymore. Dude's been creating some great stuff and I keep seein more and more rippers on his Point Concept surfboards. Check out Morgan's Super 8 docuMANtary of his shaping shack shenanigans.

Opening Day

My newest MRSA came at decent time I guess. It's been flat, to say the least. So I ain't missing anything. While I was gimped up over the last week, some amigos up in the Pacific Northwest called in healthy and went shooshing. Shred season offically started up there when Baker fired up their lifts on the 2009/10 season. Enjoy these video reports from The Tackledbox, Snowone, and TJ Schneider.

The Snowboard Realms Season 3 episode 1 from tj schneider SNOWBOARD REALMS VI on Vimeo.

nikon, canon, nikon, canon from BB on Vimeo.

Wine and cheese

Not much new to report these days. The sun is setting early and the days are getting shorter. There's a fall crispness to the air and the smell of fresh rain grows more common. Snow is flying and resorts all over these Untied State of America have begun to fire up their lifts. Oh and I've got mother fucken MRSA again. Second time in 2 months. So my leg is oozing some puss and shit from a bumpy, cottage cheese looking shit thing on my other leg, and I've got some gout fucking shit thing in one toe. I give up. The losing streak continues. Go fuck yourself 2009.

so you're saying there's a chance?

The Brown Recluse may live and reside in the 'guest house' of a posh, 200-acre (0.81 km2) beachfront estate, known as Robin's Nest, in A Secret Location in Santa Barbara County, at the invitation of its owner, Name Withheld, the celebrated-but-never-seen author of several dozen lurid novels. Ostensibly this is quid pro quo for Recluse's services based upon Recluse's claimed expertise in security; the pilot suggests Recluse also did Masters a favor of some kind.

In addition, Robin’s Nest is guarded by two highly-trained Doberman Pinschers, Zeus and Apollo, and all other aspects of the estate are managed by Englishman Jonathan Quayle Higgins III, an ex-British Army Sergeant Major with whom, often as a humorous aside during various episodes of the series, Recluse must barter for use of estate amenities other than the guest house and the Ferrari 308 GTS (e.g., tennis courts, wine cellar, expensive cameras, etc.). During early seasons of The Brown Recluse the voice of Robin Masters, heard only a few times per season, was voiced by Orson Welles.

The Brown Recluse seemingly lives a dream lifestyle: he comes and goes as he pleases, works only when he wants to, has the almost unlimited use of a Ferrari 308 GTS as well as many other of Robin Masters’ luxuries. He keeps a mini-fridge with a seemingly endless supply of fictional Coops beer, wears his father's treasured Rolex GMT Master wristwatch,[2] is seemingly surrounded by countless beautiful women (who are often his clients or victims in the cases he solves) and enjoys adventures with his buddies Rick and T.C., both former Marines he served with in the Vietnam War.[3]




Big Wednesday a couple years ago...

More Morgan

There's gonna be an onslaught of Morgan Massen during the winter of 2009-10. It's gonna be rad, too. Dude's been putting out some incredible surf and travel pics & vids for a while now. They never look cliche and always kick ass. This year it looks like he's steppin it up with some tropical travels planned all fucking winter long.

Here's a mellow little test vid from rincon a few weeks back. I'm really diggin the cranking turn at 1:31. How bout the epic leash yank at 4:07???


Stoney....

Round 2

The past weekend brought a bunch of waves around these parts. I even logged a tiny amount of tube time. I had no other choice. I was locked into a nice shoulder high pocket and the thing collapsed right in front of me. All I had to do was my patented maneuver...squat down, grab rail, and stall it a little. Any retard coulda ducked inside and squeezed on through. I'm just stoked that I was that retard since I'm not really known for my barrel riding skills. That was my friday night sesh after a long 2 days dropping off shit at surf shops from Seal Beach to San Diego. Good times. The rest of the weekend brought me alot of fun waves and a brand new case of THE MRSA. Fuckin A right, I'm gross, infected, and oozing from my leg...again. I just can't seem to catch a fucking break in 2009. But there's hope for 2010. Big news possible in mid-december.

Remember this song? It's ridiculous. It's a little known fact that it was originally titled "The MRSA Strikes Again"...