Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I pulled $300 outta checking on sunday.

Monday, March 30, 2009

less than 3 months till June 28

We don't have much time to get things ready. Get your plans going for the 16th anniversary of GG Allin's death. Good riddence, man. The world is a much better place without him. What a horrible human being and an even worse singer. My friend in high school, Scott Crotch, was so stoked on this dude. I'm warning you about watching this video. Don't click play if you can't handle poop, blood, violence, and nude singing. Although, his pee pee was so tiny the naked thing doesn't really matter. It's the poop thing you gotta worry about. Something was way wrong with this guy.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

All timer

Yesterday was so fun at a little point break in northern Ventura County named Rncon. Lots and lots of waves for me cuz the crowds were really thin and the talent level wasn't high. Not really sure what the deal was, why was nobody there. The morning sesh was mainly gut to chest high and fun. With my back still not 100% and I don't really want to twist much, all I do is drop in and get lowwww. I'll save the major slashing for MEx in 2 weeks. Right now I'm really diggin trimming into the pocket and just sitting there. No turns just trim away. I got a ton of those. I surfed a good couple hours then ate, bronzed, and went to gym. After getting big and strong, I went directly back to Rincon. It was near flawless shoulder high and maybe 10 dudes out. I got a shit-ton of great waves. Enough to claim that I'm a little surfed out after the last couple weeks. I don't remember the last time I said that. In the parking lot, there was a loud barking dog stuck in a van who was probably dying from the heat. It was 80 degrees outside. i was exhausted, but I went over to see if I could help out the little feller. What I found was this vicious, frothing, angry pitbull protecting his turf and he woulda ripped my guts out if only he had opposable thumbs. So I grabbed the camera and pissed him off even more. Fuck you and your Asstro Van, guy.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Extreme is dead

They're all gone, except for Plake. Another sad day in the action sports world yesterday. These lame news reports are starting to pile up. Skiing legend Shane McConkey's parachute didn't open in Italy yesterday. He really needed it to open, too. If you live in Kentucky and have never heard of him, he's one of the few dudes that the word EXTREME was designed for. One of the nicest guys around, he leaves a wife and daughter. I hate the word extreme, but it fits him perfectly. Gnarly motherfuckin skier turned B.A.S.E jumper turned SkiBase jumping guy. Basically that was ski sick lines that end at cliff...ski off and work a few twisty things in the air...then deploy chute or wingsuit and fly around. I dunno. It seems like a lot of the action sports legends are dieing more often. Maybe I'm just noticing it more and paying more attention to mortality the older I get. Even the Natasha Richardson deal gave me a chill. I'm sure I've smacked my head shreddin dozens of times way hard than her and NEVER seen a doc. My cure was booze and smokes and I'm still above ground. She has more money on her finger than I'll make my entire life, yet it couldn't help her. Just seems like a ton of losses. So there you you go. Happy friday. Live a great life. Shred the gnar this weekend.

Craig Kelly 2003
Jeff Anderson 2003(died from drunken falling, not shredding, but still lame)
Malik Joyeux 2005
Doug Coombs 2006
Billy poole 2008
Jeremy Lusk 2009

Shane McConkey 2009

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Paddle battle


Click on the March 25 post and read the comments.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dirty Jersey

Today is very special...it's Double Post Wednesday. Not to be confused with double pump tuesday, double flush, or Double Double Animal Style. The second post had to happen since I found a wicked awesome docuMENtary called Guido Beach. I'm blatantly rippin off Board As Fuck cuz this Guido shit is...is...um...well...Jesus Christ, you just gotta see the way these people live. It's the East Coast answer to Newport Beach, only more spikey hair, obvious cap tilting (do people really still rock that look), Douchey Gabana sunglasses, and collasal amounts of steroid zits. Worst beach Ever, but some nice cans here and there.

Dane Ming

Local Carpenisteria CA legend and surf coach extraordinaire, Dave Letinsky thinks Dane Reynolds looks like Yao Ming. Only shorter, whiter, less Chinese, and a weaker low-post player. You be the judge.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Shout out to Kevin Federline

These fags are the Svrf & Destroy of the skiing world. I'm lovin it.

"I wear purple so my stains don't show up."

"Boxes bitches and rails, I grind everything."

Hyphdog Killyanaire from Henrik Lampert on Vimeo.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I gave Thomas Campbell $12

Here in Santa Barbara there was almost no hype for the showing of a new surf flick called The Present. The theater was less than half full. I was kind of embarrassed at the lack of turnout. Although, come to think of it, I didn't really want to see the movie either. But it was friday and I needed to get out the house. I've been a bit too much of a smelly hermit recently. All I do is surf a few waves, hit the gym, work some martial arts classes, and stuff my face. So I figured it would be some comedy and it would keep me away from the TV for a short time. I met up with Ryan and we enjoyed the Mattson 2 duo warm up the crowd with an hour of full blown Norwegian Black Metal covers of Cat Stevens tunes. One of them dressed as a gothic goat and the other as Satan Himself. The stage was litered with fire, corpes, burning crosses, and bloody sacrifices, Awe fuck, just kiddin. They played some jazzy shit that you've heard in mellow surf flicks forever. It's great for maybe one stoney scene from some place like Sumatra or the Mentawies. Then it's not so great and makes me wanna kick puppies. The movie played and I just kept thinking "how cliche". I also said "why is he not focusing his camera?", "how come there's not much surfing in this surf film", and "why does the editor keep speeding up the film ridiculously fast?". Everything woulda been great on about 1998, but it's nothing special here in 2009. I guess I expect a little more creativity. A local kid named Morgan is the shit these days. I'm hoping he puts out some flick so I can leave my house again. When The Present ended it was now in the future by about an hour. I was more or less the same. Not happy not sad. Just an hour older. I decided to leave, eat Super Cucas, and rehermit myself.


More Morgan...

Friday, March 20, 2009


If you're like me and you enjoy several after snowshred beers, good jukeboxes, good peeps, meaty burgers, tater tots, dive bars, a kick-ass deck in the summer, spud guns, underage chicks, and general rowdiness, then you shoulda partied at Buckwheat's in Sun Valley, Idaho during the 90's. No glitz, no glamour. Just a double wide filled with mountain town folks celebrating another day above ground. I poured beer and grilled the meat products for the owners, and my good friends, CJ and his mommy Char. The beers were big my friend...32 oz. I fell down many times and I lived right next door. The regular drunks included JT, The Beer Camel, Fisk, Growler, Turtle, and every construction worker within 100 square miles. This place took years off my liver. One of my bros just started a Buckwheat's Deck Facebook group and it's flooding with stories from back in the day. Best time of my life....besides right now.

1993...and the livin was EZ

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Return of the Pork

The Force is strong with my buddy Kent. Apparently random Jedi's are sending him signs in meat products at Thai restaurants. He found the Millenium Pork.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


One of my favorite bloggers died and I'm a little bummed to start the day. I guess his name was Matt Camp, and I have never met the guy. I've just been reading his shit for a couple years now. He had a gimpy knee and died from complications from surgery. How does that happen? It's the first time a bloggerbro has taken the big dirt nap. His blog covered anything and everything. From the market collapse, to local Venice drunks, to waves, to transvestites getting pummeled by trucks. Just your general mix of random b.s. He seemed like a genuinely good guy and I feel really bad for his friends and family. Godammit.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Malibu gives me a migraine

Fucken migraines can suck my balls. I ain't talkin headaches, I'm talkin full blown aura seeing, numb face. scalp, and arms, and dizzyness. As if fighting the crowd at Malibu on the first south swell of the season isn't bad enough, I get one of these stupid migraines. I haven't had one for years. Why today? I had already gotten a decent mini sesh filled with kelp at the Break Formerly Known as Secos. Good but by no means quality for a sunday. So I cruized a little farther south to the Point. As I walk up I notice Albers killin it on one of Poinlt Concept's futuristic superhulls that was finished and glassed yesterday. The crowd was thick, but not super bad. I sat and chiled for a while and was in a stoney mood for some reason. All of a sudden that piece of shit migraine attacked me as I was talkin to Albers. I get blind spots, and my arm starts and scalp goes numb and I fell like I need to crap or throw up. I can't figure out which one would make me feel better, so I retire to the Super Van for an out-of-the-sun slothing. after about an hour, I don't feel much better, but since I drove this far and the waves are good, I sack up and grab the longboard for my second sesh. It was cool running into Ryan Lovelace. Apparently Lightgnar and some other SB dudes were around earlier. It woulda been much cooler if all the bros were there surfing and not the masses, but whatever. I finally caught a couple after pulling off hundreds. Malibu is just amazing in every way...the good, bad, duechy, coolness, great beach boobies, Lou Ferigno looking Sarlo beating the shit out waves, Farvebro, stupid drop ins, yelling, and all the good ripping. It's all there. Right now, I still feel like crap, but at least some waves, some yelling at old dudes, and some laughing takes the edge off a little. At least I used 2 westuits today and one of them was the 3/2. Spring has sprung and summer is near.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Friday the 13th motherfucker

What's the date on them man?
What's the date?
WHAT'S the date on them?
The date?
The fuckin date?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mowing foam

Brilliant, my thick bearded friend.
Simply brilliant.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Glass Joe

1984...Surgery/pins put in hip to stabilize growth plate
1985...Surgery/pins taken out of hip
March 1993...Tears in both meniscuses due to long season of flat landings, but no surgery
March 1994...Slight tear of right MCL but no surgery
April 1998...Surgery to install artificial left hip
December 2001...Broke collar bone snowshredding
June 2002...Surgery/repair collar bone which isn't healing
January 2003...Minor surgery to take out collarbone hardware
January 2003...Right elbow gets cast due to wandering bone chips
June 2007...Left shoulder gets cortesone due too much swimming, lifting, & surfing
December 2007...Back pain makes me see doc, pills prescribed
February 2008...Right shoulder gets another cortesone shot due to bursitis
April 2008...Back, neck, and shoulder pain leads doc to prescribe more pills
June 2008...Shoulder gets another cortesone shot cuz it's still fucked
July 2008...Back is fucked due to big ol ruptured disc...Sciatica feels like flaming battery acid wrapped in barbed wire....I took a shit-ton of pills and continuing lots of exercises/rehab...back still fucked...I'm avoiding surgery

This is just the injuries that I can easily remember. Lots of random limpin, gimping, icing, ibuprofen, and down time in between. My shit's broken down right now, and it's been a mess for over a year. Glass Joe...la da da da di da...Glass Joe strikes again. It makes it tough to stretch the hammys. I need to get back on the yoga program. Yoga is good.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Rip City

Blazers 111
Lakers 94 Final

I don't care that much, except that I watched the game with a bunch of Lakers bandwagoneers. One of them had the balls to claim that Larry Bird played for the Seattle Supersonics for a couple years. I had to refresh their memory and explain that the Mighty Whitey Jack Sikma is not Larry Bird. They felt stupid...like they should.


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Shape of things to come

I'm working on some cool new projects that should be out and about real soon. One is candles. They'll be in surf shops by summertime. Whoopie.

But what I'm really stoked about is shaping some boards. I'm getting ready to build a shaping stand and knock out a couple new rides for summer. I'd like to ride what my hands build. It's like putting somebody else's pictures on your wall...I don't like doing it. My first test board came out a bit stumpy and doesn't ride all that well. But at least it's rideable. It's a really cool feeling to shred something that you built. Now that I have the space, it's time to hone my skills and quit being such a shaping pussy.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Team Phenix

Since we haven't ben getting waves again, I've been organizing my crap at my new house. Downsizing as much as possible and getting rid of lots of stuff. I found another box of pics the other day. I found this one from a 2 week road trip with some bros in 1997. We left Idaho and went north through Montana to Fernie British Columbia. It was fucking rad. The mountain is set up like a king's crown. The top 1000 feet are all bowls lined up right next to each other. And in between lots of the bowls are ridglines that have easy hikes to inbound chutes. Very rippable and super fun. Usually when you reached a chute it was still untracked even at the end of the day. We had to wait for one to open so the ski patrol could blast it with a Howitzer. I was the first one to enter after the blast. It was an air drop into a couple big open turns before a sharp left where it opened up to a steep bowl under the cliff band filled hip deep pow. Lots of cliff drops and open bowls and not many peeps. The town was kinda boring and I wasn't hitting the sauce at the time so no good stories about falling down. We spent a week here before we moved on to Kimberly Resort. It fucking sucked dong. That is one boring ass mountain. We had a friend who was runnning the ski school, so we said hi and goodbye. We packed up and moved a couple hundred kilometers down the road to Red Mountain. It's built next to a killer little old mining town tucked onto a hillside. Really good times here. The mountain is really fun, but I don't remember anything super gnar. We spent a lot of time on one run in particular. It was right under the chairlift. It's not often that I spend all day on one run, but man this one was awesome. It was littered with ton of natural rollers, banks, and pops. I got all Occy on that shit. On the second to last day we shredded then skipped town in the late afternoon. We made it to Missoula for that night and found a shitbox motel. In the morning we beelined for Lost trail Ski Area on the Idaho-Montana border. It's the most mom and pop place I've ever seen. I think it was $10 a day. We geared up and made that little hill our bitch for a few hours. It was bluebird and about a foot of fresh pow. It was just what we needed to stretch the legs for the push back to Sun Valley. Classic crew, great road trip with no carnage.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Florida kicks ass...if you're a retard. Check out this Latricia broad that calls up 911 because there's an emergency at her McDonald's. I'm sure my buddy Bill Dough can relate to this crisis. If In-N-Out ever ran outta his pecious double-doubles dude would go fucking Chuck Norris on shit. Arms would get ripped off and cities would burn.

"she cain't force me to eat somethin that I don't want"...Latricia Goodma