Wednesday, January 11, 2012

poopy pants

My piece-of-shit body only needs to last for another 8.5 years. I'll be 50 and my life will go downhill real fast and I won't care. I plan on getting back on the bottle and wasting away into oblivion. I'll probably need a replacement for my 1997 hip replacement. So walking upright without crutches might be a distant dream. The good news is that I should have most of my hair and roughly 85% of my real teeth. My shoulders have both been broken and are a bit outta whack which means the rotator cuffs are at risk of being ratfucked and my bursa sack impingement is always just a few hundred yards of freestyle swimming away. SO with all that to look forward to, I'm on a mission to cram a lifetime of fun into a few more good years. This means is that I NEEEEEED to surf or snowboard EVERY FUCKING DAY until September 11, 2020. Every day I miss doing one or the other leads to an overload of regret. Stack up a few weeks (or a complete season of shitty snow like we're going through right now), and I might just snap. I'll disappear somewhere tropical until the resources run out to catch up on missed opportunites. Right now I am getting near this desperate scenario. We don't have diddley squat for snow....nobody really does. There is a glimmer of hope next week when the high pressure cock block breaks down and we get a solid jet stream of death shitting on us. Please god, in all your glory, let it shit on us. Or not. Fuck it. I just ordered a new surfboard that should be ready for Indo in a few short weeks. The dollar goes real far down there and their surf season is just around the corner.