Saturday, May 29, 2010
God's Junk Shot to Humanity
Boy, I can't keep track of the celebudeaths...Dio, Dennis Hopper, GC, and Art Linkletter to name a few. We're losing all the good people. Near miss with ol hairweave himself, Brett Michaels, but he's still above ground...for now. Yet, that giant motherfucking anabolic filled ginger zit on humanity's sphincter, Carrot Top, is still alive and appearing twice nightly at the Luxor in Vegas. Book your tickets today! He's up there flexing on stage with a fresh scrote shave via some random smokin-hot coked-up coed each and every show, I'd imagine. All this is going down while illegal Mexican dolphins in the Gulf are drinking oil flavored Super Big Gulps and watching BP fire off endless "junk-shots". And we all know how painful those can be. BP seems to be shooting junk shot blanks though, and It all spells doom. DOOM I tell you. There is no hope. They kill everybody we love along with the delicious fish, yet Carrot Fucking Top thrives. Fuck you baby jesus in heaven.
On a side note, epic day round hyar. Hot as balls outside, no wind, long 40 mile spandex session, mini bronzing naptime at the beach, pumped some iron, stuffed my pie hole, almost surfed, and a bunch of other shit that doesn't really matter.