Monday, May 31, 2010
I'm the most vile, worst kind of scofflaw. I wear spandex and sweat profusely while committing unspeakable crimes in broad daylight during holiday weekends. But not today goddammit. On one of the busiest days of the eyar for law enforcement, I'm the one they go after. I ain't admitting to SHIT! I didn't do it, I was framed and I'm not motherfucking guilty. You've gotta believe me. Officer Kamin didn't see it that way. That corksucker couldn't stop his motorscooter fast enough to start writing me a ticket. He started laying into me as he was reaching for his tablet, when I didn't put up with any of his crap. Normally I'd start with the ridiculous "yes sir/no sir" bullshit. You know, REALLy get in there DEEEEEEP and cradle his ballsack a bunch. But he was already writing the above ticket before his kickstand was fully engaged. Nowhere to go but down so all bets were off. I had to spew a little encouragement for his job well done protecting society. He don't ride bicycles and has no idea what's safest for me. Fuck him. He couldn't be happier to get rebel scum such as myself off his streets. I'm fightin this one just for the fun of it. I stopped, didn't put my Sidi Dominator down cuz I can balance like that, then proceeded through flashy red light safely. It's not my fault that my blocker, the truck I had pulled up next to, started then stopped like some pussy when it was OUR turn. No apologies and I'll do it again. Hopefully when Kamin ain't around. Such a dick.