Cans and shit

Been busy for a few days with some shit on my mind so I haven't had the energy post any useless crap that saps minutes from yous day. When I say I've been working on shit, I mean money. It doesn't look like I'm gonna get rich the old fashioned way...screwing my way into a life of leisure. So I'm gonna have to bust my ass. And as one of my rich friends told me..."Jeff, you work too hard. It's better to work smart, than work hard." I've been trying to build our biz in the hopes of breaking away from this wretched desk life at some point in the near future. So I feed the Head Cheese new ideas for products, new marketing strategies, new approaches to attract more biz, and all that jazz. Basically, everything a sales manager is supposed to do. But 0% gets put into action. Years of this shit, and I'm near over it. I've been talking with some bros at a shoe company with a names that rhymes with CANS about a fucking epic collab. It's an unbelievabley rad fit for both companies. The Head Cheese is initially against it, but there's a slight chance. His kid and I agree that this would be great, so it's 2 against 1. The battle comes monday when I give him the full court press. Pedal to the metal. We're either doing this or I'm getting fired. Punches might get thrown and dudes will weep. Let's hope it's me that's weeping in joy.

So here's what I've been up to in the meantime...


Said goodbye to one roommate.



Delivered wax to shops from Seal Beach to San Diego. Some have gone out of biz.



Visited CANS World Headquarters, got a visitor sticker, and visited some CANS by Dave Flores.

The Fearless Tsunami Hunters

There was a tsunami alert in Santa Barbara last night due to that big ass Erffquake in the Souff Pacific that crushed Samoa. So I stuffed my face full of Super Cucas and cruised down to the harbor to witness the destruction. The only other clowns who had nothing better to do was Morgan, his family, their dog, some drunks, and a random-psycho-ward-excapee-guy walking backwards around the harbor talking to himself. We all survived.

National Parks kick ass

"I looooove big treeeees" is what some big, smelly hippy yelled behind me across 80,000 people between David Crosby's songs. It was 1992-ish and I was at some free concert along Portland's waterfront Park to save the Spotted Owl's habitat(big trees). I was amazed how quiet it was when Crosby sang Long Time Gone solo. I was there because there was lots of booze and some music by Crosby, Neil Young, and The Heart Sisters. And I was also there because I love big trees. I grew up playing sports and camping, hiking, biking, and skiing. My playground doesn't have a metal fence around it and organized white lines layed out. It doesn't have waxed floors, or nets, or any of that bullshit either. It's about being in the water and mountains. It's about being free to do whatever the fuck I want. There's an awesome Ken Burns show on PBS right now called National Parks, Something Something Something. It started yesterday, and I'm diggin it. Reviews haven't been the best, but what do they know. It's inspiring and reminding me that I've been a city-turd for a while. I need to go camping and burn some things real soon. Plus shred season isn't too far off.

Mostly healed

Rincon Surf Report for September 26 & 27, 2009-
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!
Small, but fun none the less. A few long peelers through the inside sandbar section at the cove. Good to be back in the water. Super fun to be out there and surfing with Albers, Gilda, and the Doucette Bros from Idaho. Next issue is my messed up toe. At the rate things on my body are breaking down, I'm sure that'll keep me out of the water at some point this winter.

Protest protesting

It's friday and I wish there was some sort of protest going down this weekend. I found the godshatesprotesters blog and been laughin my ass off all morning. I've got plenty of rattle cans and cardboard, and I can be for/against anything. Call me if you hear of a good rally/protest around here. But Santa Barbara doesn't do that kind of thing. So I guess I'll go surfing instead. I finally get to shred some mini-waves and sloth on the beach.

Large Beef N' Cheddar

At lunchtime I swung by Jeff Hull's place to get my new board all glassed up in under a week. Which gave me the opportunity to drop by Arby's Health Foods. I picked out a delicious Large Beef N' Cheddar combo pack. Looks like it's 660 calories made up of 36 grams of fat and 43 grams of protein. Not bad, pretty good. The curly fries didn't survive long enough to snap a pic. I was so excited and had so much cheese and beef on me that I could barely hold the camera AND the sando. Our team manager thought I was weird to take pics of my food. What the fuck does he know?

Staph overload

Just got back from the doc and it turns out I'm infected with The MRSA instead of The HIV. You can't get The HIV from The Hand. I'm nearly cured though. Just another 10 days of antibiotics. If we get some waves I'm very close to being able to surf again. Now that I'm able to be out in society again, hopefully this is my last post about staphylyccocis.

Woody

Seattle 2000-2003

My 44 year old, Polish-American friend Johan is 225 lbs of chiseled butter. And one twisted motherfucker. We worked together a while back. I didn't get paid shit, but the comedy was worth every second(until I freaked out because I wasn't getting paid enough, quit, packed up everything, and moved to Costa Rica to drink and surf for a few months). I can truely say there was never a dull moment around Northwave North America. We could really use some comedy around this boring office I'm currently in. My office here sucks dong. If you shred the gnar you should buy more Coal for your cabeza, Capita for slashing, and Union for locking down your feets. I found this vid and it's classic. Yo goes through a box of crap that's apparently being given away. I love how shit that I gave him is being regifted.

C3 (CAPiTA, Union, Coal) Box Of Random Love from Chappy on Vimeo.

Oh, and one more thing....

The Encore.... from Chappy on Vimeo.

Beef Jerky

Houston, we've got a scab! That's right, bitches. Look how healthy I am. I took a pic of it and used to my calf to make it look like a buttcrack. But it's actually my leg. All that sketchy looking shit around my gorgeous scab is dead and/or irritated skin. Not only are my germs a bunch of useless pussies, but now my skin is joining the mutiny. The changing of the bandages is fucking shit up. Hopefully I'm on the right path of curing my HIV status.




It's a little known fact that the original lyrics to Charlie Rich's classic was..."Hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful scab in the world, tell it I love it"

WGB #3

My new thing is sitting on the beach and not surfing. Just spacing out and watching awesome waves. it's just fucking great. Try it some time. Fuck you Rincon. Yesterday I stopped by Rincon after work and it was pumpin. Head high at least and the rivermouth was firing. Lots of good waves just beggin to get shredded. Not many quality surfers out there except for the barrel killer and future WCT'r Conner Coffin. He was out there destroying it.

So since I'm hating life and can't do shit, I decided to shape another board today. The Worlds Greatest Board #3 has been shaped and needs to get glassed. It's a 6'4" x 21.5 x probably 2.75. The diamond tail is wide as fuck...9.5. I tried to give it a single concave in the middle to a doubleish concave over the back feet. I picked up the blank from Fiberglass Hawaii last week. I'm finding that I really like making a mess of foam. The idea was a widowmaker. Where you have a bigger center fin with 2 small side bitter fins positioned along side it. Like a 2+1. I've been reading about these for a while now and never seen anybody riding one. Everything I've ready is that they haul ass like a thruster but carve like a single fin. I like carving. They say these things make incredible bottom turns. Especially when you really crank it on rail and would normally slide out. The side bitters give it that extra grip. I may try glassing this bitch. But I'll probably go the easy way and have that dude down in Ventura knock it out for me. It would be rad to get to surf this thing if my knee ever gets better.

the fucking

Knee still fucked.
Much puss and schmeg oozing out.
No end in sight.
No light at end of tunnel.
Waves are coming in from 290 degrees.
Lots of wave.
Good waves.
Barrels and shit.
Sat on beach and watched other people surf again.
I hate watching other people surf.
Urge to kill rising.
Rising.
Rising.