Tuesday, July 27, 2010
In the race to build the better death trap, back in the 70's some coked-out disco inferno decided to give the common Schwinn Krate an extra joint. Not dope, they added an extra pivot directly under your taint. Instead of stability, they thought it wise for the frame to be as stiff as wilted celery. Why not let the ass-end of the rig whip around on the edge of control? In this current time of Political Correctness and pussification, this design marvel would never get mass produced because part of the fun is jack-knifing and smashing the shit outta your shins. That's why I'm starting the hunt. There's gotta be one show up on Craigslist just fucking begging for me to crush myself trying to master the "cloverleaf".
I always ask myself...What Would Jimmy Osmond Do?