Saturday, June 12, 2010
Wider goals, people
Jesus christ, my hatred for watching soccer knows no ends. I hate even typing the fucking word. I love playing it, but I can't fake any kind of excitement long enough to saddle up at my local dive bar and get wasted watching soccer. Nothing good about watching it, unless you're getting a hummer at the same time. And then, once that's done, flip the channel. Quit fooling eur-o-selves. Absolutely it's THE FUCKING WORST SPECTATOR SPORT IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD! I haven't made an children yet simply because then I'd be forced to go and watch their soccer games. After a wannabe hooligan coworker at an Italian joint up in Seattle complained that Americans need to watch more soccer, I politely stated that it's FUCKING BORING, ASSHOLE. Why? Because these professional crysacks, they never score. They each get billions of Lira and a Spice Girl, but they can't make a stinkin goal each and ever game. What if Kobe scored every 5th game? Shoot the ball and make more goals. NIL to NIL is no way to end competition, you fags. Then I suggested, if these professionals can't make a single goal each game, make the goals bigger so the final score is something like 45-38. If that doesn't work...naked chicks. Titties everywhere. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. That's it. That's the only way to save soccer in Amurica.
Final score of today's USA VS ENGLAND...1-1. Nobody won. Good job getting back to where you started ladies.
The Brown Recluse tending goal in about 1980...