Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Homelessness 101

One thing I've learned while being homeless by choice, is that I've got plenty of spare time. There's no couch to sloth on for a couple hours each night. Obviously I'm single. Add to that my lack of TV, I've got plenty of minutes to kill. So I go to gym more often and work on my pecs. I've also found the time for more yoga for stretching out the hammy's. I call and bug friends. Or read. Or just stare blankly and think funny thoughts. Or I hang out at coffee shops more than usual. Which leads me to another thing that I've learned. Lord-loving nutbags drink a fuckload of coffee and kill their time at Starbucks in Montecito. Last night, this old windbag and her daughter started chanting then yelling about her old man, a Jewish carpenter bum named Jesus. As she was saying her goodbye's to all of us, yet nobody in particular, she took the words right out of my mouth...."I'm bringing you a nice almond bread whether you like it or not." I might've ended it with, "now go fuck yourself". But to each their own.



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5 comments:

  1. Did you catch what kind of coffee that psycho heifer ordered? I'd like to avoid that one.

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  2. love! LOVE LOVE!

    old windbag, FTW!!!!!

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  3. HAHAHAHAH.

    Can I order peanut brittle.

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  4. It all makes sense now! That's Nadinka or "Nadya" as she likes to be called. That crazy, psycho windbag is a member at the Y. She has gone psycho over her rain stick, her scarf, and insulted one of the supervisors. Nice to see she hasn't lost her charm.

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