Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Homelessness 101

One thing I've learned while being homeless by choice, is that I've got plenty of spare time. There's no couch to sloth on for a couple hours each night. Obviously I'm single. Add to that my lack of TV, I've got plenty of minutes to kill. So I go to gym more often and work on my pecs. I've also found the time for more yoga for stretching out the hammy's. I call and bug friends. Or read. Or just stare blankly and think funny thoughts. Or I hang out at coffee shops more than usual. Which leads me to another thing that I've learned. Lord-loving nutbags drink a fuckload of coffee and kill their time at Starbucks in Montecito. Last night, this old windbag and her daughter started chanting then yelling about her old man, a Jewish carpenter bum named Jesus. As she was saying her goodbye's to all of us, yet nobody in particular, she took the words right out of my mouth...."I'm bringing you a nice almond bread whether you like it or not." I might've ended it with, "now go fuck yourself". But to each their own.


  1. Did you catch what kind of coffee that psycho heifer ordered? I'd like to avoid that one.

  2. love! LOVE LOVE!

    old windbag, FTW!!!!!


    Can I order peanut brittle.

  4. It all makes sense now! That's Nadinka or "Nadya" as she likes to be called. That crazy, psycho windbag is a member at the Y. She has gone psycho over her rain stick, her scarf, and insulted one of the supervisors. Nice to see she hasn't lost her charm.